We are all waiting with baited breath, clean underwear and appropriate team sweat shirts for Sunday’s big TV bonanza ‘The Super Duper Saucer’. The final football game of the season that will decide who will be crowned king of the cow pasture for another year.
The winning team will receive silver saucers inscribed with the pertinent statistics for them to place on their mantle shelves or the mantle shelve’s of their parents for safe keeping. The heros will be fated, baited and heavily weighted. They will be guests on religious programs, Youtube and spokespersons for the very latest in almost everything that’s worth a wank.
The dust and hullaballoo will eventually fade and by Monday morning life will get back to some semblance of normalcy. The media will add up the vast piles of cash which they have received from global sales of T.V. commercials during the extended broadcast and take the rest of the year off. All in all the advertising boys are feeling pretty chuffed with themselves.
It occurs to me that this has only scratched the surface of the ultimate potential of this kind of global event.
Whilst there will always be a place for the viewing audience to watch grown men demonstrate the various and interesting ways to suffer severe brain damage, concussions and, at times, decapitation, there is certainly a place for newer a more dramatic spectacles to be organized. One cannot afford to rest on ones laurels; a rolling sausage gathers no gravy. It is a cardinal sin to leave something which is running perfectly smoothly alone. It has to be re vamped; upgraded and improved. Satisfied customers are a curse; they is no profit to be gained from satisfaction. What is absolutely vital is to foster definitive discontent so that improvements can be put in motion and the temporary band aid of contentment and satisfaction briefly return.It has always been thus!
One morning when I was drinking my goat milk and pondering this topic I had an epiphany; followed by gastric disorder and severe nasal congestion.
‘War Games Thirteen’ could fit this slot very well.
The ‘Super Duper Medium Sized Frying Pan’ would be held in an uninhabited area of Afghanistan, which would not be too hard to find, and consist of two teams. The ‘Avaricious Greedy Bastards’ in red uniforms, representing the global banking consortiums and the ‘Even More Avaricious Greedy Bastards’ in blue representing the worldwide ‘pharmaceutical Industries’ AGB1 and AGB2.
The game would be played with live hand grenades.There would be twenty time outs per quarter. Ten yard penalties for the use of anything marginally nuclear would result in loss of down and one item of clothing.
The team with the most players who are basically still alive after the final whistle would be subject to interrogation and thorough and rigorous cross examination before being allowed to rejoin society and be officially declared victors.
If that doesn’t get the pulses of the Global entrepreneurs hearts racing I don’t know what will.